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[22 Dec 2015|02:16am] |
 'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky.
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[28 Oct 2010|11:09am] |
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你說不愛就不愛。
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| Burn up in your atmosphere. |
[07 Jun 2010|12:08am] |
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I don't know what's it like to land and not race to your door.
I'm gonna steer clear, I'll burn up in your atmosphere.
Cause I'd die if I saw you, die if I didn't see you there.
I get lost in the boulevard at night,
without your voice to tell me "I love you, take a right."
The ten and the two is a lonely sight.
I think I'm gonna stay gonna stay, gonna stay in the grey, think i'm gonna stay.
All the street lights say nevermind nevermind, all the canyon lines say nevermind.
Sunset says we see this all the time, nevermind never you mind.
Whereever I go, whatever I do, I wonder where I am in my relationship to you.
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[04 Jun 2010|11:51pm] |
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feels like you're leaving me here.
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| She's a wreck. |
[03 Jun 2010|11:40pm] |
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Can't seem to hold you like I want to,
so I can feel you in my arms.
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby you're the only light I saw.
never really liked wearing my glasses out. they are troublesome, they get dirty easily from god knows what, and some of them don't fit my face well enough so they end up either constantly falling off what some may term as non-existent nose bridge, or they make my face look fat. another reason which i probably realised only today, was how insanely sharp my vision was. i hate that. i never had perfect vision, well not for the past 8 years of my life. having things so immaculately presented to me was annoying, life's not perfect, it's a bloody bitch which kicks and bites you in the freaking ass whenever it gets the damn chance.
but today, my glasses did serve me well. the stars never looked so clear in the night sky. that was good.
in other news, i never mentioned what i thought about dysfunction.
it's cool, and it's different, and i love especially reading (murakami at the top of my list) about characters who are just plain irrational and problematic. the ones who get sent to the mental institutions, those i really dig.
but today, yes today. i change my mind.
dysfunction should left alone. they scar and they distance themselves away.
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| I never thought it'd be this clear. |
[31 May 2010|01:11am] |
i feel so sorry for myself right now.
as so they say,
when you are the happiest,
you also become the saddest.
All things become so apparent;
i am the biggest fool.
after so long,
i still am the biggest, most useless fool.
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| Can we settle down please? |
[28 May 2010|10:50pm] |
since a couple of days back, i have been completely hooked on murakami's sputnik sweetheart. its not so much of the plot, (though its really starting to get mindfuckingly creepy), but the way he crafts his characters and put them together so that it all really fits into this huge jigsaw. the way he portrays sumire and the way he plays with the imagination of your mind, makes you fall in love with her mess, her huge coat, her scuffy boots and the way she has to smoke all the time.
sumire stopped thinking the moment she met miu. the moment she fell in love with miu and was no longer able to tell the difference between the 2 ends of extremity, when all things were simply indistinguishable. when she lay on her infinite field and looked up to the sky, no longer caring about anything and merely fixating on the clouds above her.
when i read this, i thought of you.
how you turn my life around, you are the billowy cloud above me which i fixate on everyday, not knowing how to look away, aware that it may be completely impossible and out of this world to look away, even for a mere second. it feels like i have been through an entire year of seasons in my mind, and everything flew past me without my notice. memories of my past slipped into absolute oblivion because nothing really seemed to matter anymore.
and i figured that it is okay for you to compartmentalise me. categorise my flaws and the things you love about me. empty the boxes which you have labelled "disgusting and unwanted" and keep the ones which you think are beautiful and worth wanting.
sounds like a plan.
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| White Flag. |
[28 May 2010|01:52am] |
i used to get comments,
saying hanging out with me is like going on a ride on a crazy emotional roller coaster,
leaves you breathless, confounded and perplexed.
of course, this was until i met you.
you were right, waves always emerge victorious in their struggles with tsunamis.
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[28 May 2010|01:35am] |
So you say I’m better off here,
as dry as the shoreline in an ocean of fear.
And so you say that I can’t be alive,
Until there is nothing when we’re meeting eyes.
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[27 May 2010|03:06am] |
天青色等烟雨 而我在等你
炊烟袅袅升起 隔江千万里
在瓶底书汉隶仿前朝的飘逸
就当我为遇见你伏笔
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[27 May 2010|01:07am] |
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there's no comfort in the waiting room.
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| Disdain. |
[22 May 2010|12:25am] |
Nothing seems to have changed. Out of the unreal shadows of the night comes back the real life that we have known, We have to resume it where we had left off, and there steals over us a terrible sense of the necessity for the continuance of energy in the same wearisome round of stereotyped habits, or a wild longing, it maybe, that our eyelids might open some morning upon a world that had been refashioned anew in the darkness for our pleasure, a world in which things would have fresh shapes and colours, and be changed, or have other secrets, a world in which the past would have little or no place, or survive, at any rate, in no conscious form of obligation or regret, the remembrance even of joy having its bitterness, and the memories of pleasure, their pain.
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| 消えたくない。 |
[22 May 2010|12:02am] |
My hopes are so high, that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery,
whichever you prefer.
You've got me figured out.
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| With the hardest of hearts, I still feel full of pain. |
[21 May 2010|12:50am] |
Verstehen. Or the complete lack of it.
What an ironic, heartthrashing one way road.
Because all things are seemingly my fault,
I am always Mr.Pencil, and you are always Mr.Eraser.
I will always be the one getting stopped in my tracks, giving you plasters.
Mending you while being ripped to shreds. Pretending and tutoring myself that it's all okay.
That I am always okay.
I just can't fucking quit you.
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| Where we're gonna go? |
[20 May 2010|01:07am] |
"i love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
i love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride,
so i love you because i know no other way than this."
"i don't care what nobody says, no,
i'm gonna be your lover.
i love you like no other."
"what a feeling in my soul,
love burns brighter than sunshine.
i'm yours, and suddenly you're mine.
suddenly you're mine, and it's brighter than sunshine."
"and i rationed my breaths as I said to myself that i've already taken too much today.
i knew that you were a truth i would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all.
i'm thinking of what sarah said that love is watching someone die.
so who’s gonna watch you die? so whos gonna watch you die?"
"sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
and i know, the waiting is all you can do.
when i wake you, i'll be the first thing you see, and you'll realise you love me."
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| s i l e n c e d. |
[20 May 2010|12:13am] |
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Life has just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters
some scenes in certain movies can't seem to be forgotten.
strangely, sometimes they end up being scenes which are completely random and probably irrelevant to the plot for the most part.
tonight's cloudy starless moonless night has left me with nothing.
reminded me of the time when alice was walking along this dark path, and when she realised how lost she was, she turned around and saw this lion with a broom for a face, and there it was, sweeping to its heart's content away all paths, before and after her.
tonight, i'm going to jump into the rabbithole, grab that damn lion and have it sweep and erase away everything else disdainful in my life.
due to unforeseen circumstances,
i shall disappear.
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| You're such a charmer. |
[19 May 2010|02:11am] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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People call us renegade 'cause we like living crazy.
We like taking on the town, some people getting lazy
I don't care what nobody says, no
I'm going to be your lover.
Always mad and usually drunk,
but I love you like no other.
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ahrin's journal
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